The Naked Me

I feel colder.
I feel lighter.
Its gone.
Its really short.
Like really really.
It had to go.
My hair.
It was about time.
It would have had to go.
If I was to train for the police.
I dont mind it short.
It will take some getting used to though.

Got to work this morning.
Got told to be careful.
To keep a look out.
Apparently he threatened the Assistant Manager.
Told him he was going to get a shotgun.
Word is he got caught with his ipod during work.
He already had 3 verbal warnings.
He was dismissed.
He took it badly and said hes going to get his dads shotgun.
Went to his dads place.
Got the gun.
His father tried to stop him.
He put his father in hospital.
He put his own father in hospital.
The cops caught him on the way back to work.
On Eccles St.
I didnt think he would do it.
He is a good friend of mine.
I have lunch with him every Sunday.
Hes a cool guy but I didnt think he would do this.
Just when you think you know a person.

I moved into the new flat last weekend.
Halfway through getting my stuff out, the old flatmate arrived home.
He was wild.
"Give me the fucking key" he said.
I wasnt completely moved out but I gave it to him.
As we got everything from my room, he stood there.
Watching us.
Giving us the evils.
He was wild.
Got everything out.
Went to my other ex-flatmate to get my share.
My share of the flat account.
He was all emo.
Dressed in black.
With a look of depression.
I got my share of the flat account.
A third.
But i decided to be nice.
I left an extra $150 for them.
I extended my hand to the emo.
He shook it.
I left his room to find the other all happy.
He was smiling and joking round with my lovely moving crew.
I told him I left him some money.
I extended my hand to him.
He grabbed it but pulled me in for a hug.
After all he put me and my friends through, I wasnt going there.
I resisted.
Dont want to touch him intimately.
So now Im living with 2 chicks.
2 very awesome chicks.
So far Ive had the best week ever apart from 1 thing.

I mum told me she was "sick".
She would tell me how over txt.
I rang her to find out.
She may have MS.
That got me worried.
It put lead to her death.
I researched it.
Then I got the feeling I might have it.
MS also fatigues muscles and bones.
And they disintegrate.
I kind of have that feeling of fatigued muscles.
Continually.
I always have for a couple of years.
Im probably just being paranoid though.

So thats been my week.
Quite a big one now that I look back.
Meh.
Drama.
Kind of like it.
Bye.

Dammit dammit dammit.

I cant get the Integra.
I need a guarantor.
Mum and Dad wouldnt be one for something that price.
Dammit dammit dammit.
Dad surprised me though.
He didnt instantly say no.
He must know how much i love integras.
Just joking.
He hardly knows me anymore.
Still glad he didnt instantly say no.
I could have managed to pay off the Integra.
It was only $76 a week.
Thats nothing to me.
Ive found a cheaper car now.
Since mum and dad wont be a guarantor for a $9000 car.
This other one Ive found is $5000.
$4000 difference.
Much better financially Id say.
Hopefully they'll give in on that one.

I saw my ex today.
She said Hey.
I said Hey.
Then turned round to continue working.
I was nervous.
I was scared.
I kind of hoped she would just walk by.
She stopped.
And let me know she had an interview at my work.
That gave me a quick heartbeat.
She asked who to go to so I told her.
She didn't know who that was.
So I told her where to go.
She didn't know where that was.
So I led her to the service desk.
I thought Good Luck.
I tried to say it.
Still so scared though.
Started walking back and her mother was walking towards me.
She said that was very nice of me.
Yay me I guess.
I txted her after work.
I was wondering if I should or not.
The chat seemed ok i guess.
Wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

This fitter me is doing great.
Stopped off at a friends place halfway during my jog.
Id been jogging for 20 minutes so I needed a break.
It was a quick visit.
They let me in.
Sweaty and panting.
She was thinking What The?!?!?
Then she asked if I wanted some water.
I was quick to answer of course.
I mean come on.
Id been jogging for 20 minutes or so.
Then I left 10 minutes later to continue my jogging.
It was a long jog.
Am I officially fit.
Probably not.

Hello friend.
You know who you are.
Silly dilly you.
I bet me telling you your in this blog has made you read it.
Haha.
Well of course I cant use your actual name.
That would destroy my blogs.
Nah probably not.
Hello friend.

Well Ive heard to much Aerosmith for the night I think.
Might go to bed in 7 minutes.
Early morning.
To jog of course.
Goodnight

Todays the Day

Todays the day talk about my options for the Integra.
My awesome friend got the best car dealer to talk to me.
During his shopping.
What a legend.
My friend is a legend.
That put a massive smile on my face all day.
I just had to give her a massive bear hug during work.
Cant believe we're going to talk about payment options.
This is all happening fast.
Only decided to buy a car last Thursday.
Inspired by the purchase by another great friend.
She got herself an awesome Mitsi.
It has GPS!
To bad its stuck in Japanese though.
She tried using it.
Apparently she made a left turn on a bridge.
Bet that GPS was sweating nuts and bolts at that point.
Its a good car though.
More of a family car which suits her.
Shes a family oriented kind of chick.
Which is awesome.

I cant stop thinking about the Integra.
Its as if all my dreams have come true all at once.
Except Im not a rockstar.
Im not a cop.
I dont have a Les Paul.
But I have the chance to buy an Interga.
Im feeling like Im on cloud nine.

Oh well.
I better go.
Hopefully in a few days Ill have a car.
To bad we're just discussing payment options today.
Bye.

Just a side note

Just a little note regarding my last post.
I went to the other Millennium Motors car lot before.
There sitting in the back row was the Integra that I asked about.
That stupid fat car sales man told me they sold all of them.
Im mad.
Im also glad.
That means I could still get my favorite car.
Well favorite modern day car.
Favorite classic car is a Pontiac '67 GTO.
Probably wont ever own one of them though.

No More. Damn. Sigh

Well it turns out that there are no more integra's.
Especially that nice white one I wanted.
Damn.
Its a big let down.
There is a prelude at Carnaby Cars though.
Might try to get that.
Asked about a Subaru Impreza at Millenium Motors.
Apparently its to much for me.
Grrrrrr.
What would he know.
So maybe I'll get a prelude.
Hopefully.
Possibly.
Still annoyed about there being no integra's.
Sigh.
I waited around Millennium Motors for 30 mins just to hear that?!?!
Stupid fat old man.
He was quick to get rid of foreigners too.
Looks like he just doesn't want to do his job.

Didn't end up hanging out with her yesterday.
Asked if she wanted us to just be friends.
Or maybe something more.
She didn't know.
She said she'd find it hard because Ill be living with them soon.
She does have a point.
And I enjoy the way things are now but its tough.
Tough to keep the feelings at a "friends" level.
Her flatmate understands what I mean.
And understands what makes it so tough.
Sigh.

Might get into the Jack Daniels early.
Might hang out with two of my favorite friends later.
And make plans on saving schemes.
Shouldnt be too hard.
$150 dollars saved a week.
Thats $600 a month.
Minus about $100 for the mySKY bill.
and minus $30 for the internet bill.
$470 saved a month.
Not too bad.
Might just do that.

Anyways.
I might go.
Get some coke.
Open the JD.
Mix them.
Its all good.
Bye

The start of my weekend

What could I do?
I don't have much planned so far.
Might go to Millennium Motors soon.
Going to get a car in a few weeks.
Want to talk about my options.
There is this mean as Honda Integra 1997.
I really want it.
I love Integras's.
Might have a jam with her.
If she wants to.
To bad it doesn't look like a great day like yesterday.
It would have made my weekend perfect.

I saw two friends yesterday that I hadn't seen in ages.
It was awesome to see them.
Their still the funny random ones that make me smile.
Thats awesome.
One of them asked if I was over my latest ex.
Of course I am.
I got over her fast.
Didn't want to but I had to.
They want to meet her douchbag of a boyfriend.
If I was them, I wouldnt.
He would probably dump her for them.
He's that kind of guy.
He once tried to get an ex to dump me.
For him.
I threatened him at work.
He asked "Is that supposed to scare me?"
He acted like he wasn't scared.
Truth was, He was.
Later that day I found out he got some guy out to beat me up.
Never happened.
Never liked that douche.
Now knowing that he's going out with her.
It makes me think much differently about her.
The two friends I saw yesterday know he will hurt her.
I know he will.
Im not going to tell her though.

Im so hungry.
Might get a feed as soon as Im finished here.
I feel like schnitzel.
Yum.
Two of my friends aren't making more blogs :(
They haven't got round to it.
Another friend of mine as good blogs.
Their always about this douchbag guy though.
She's going to diverse them a bit though after her big weekend.
She's hanging out with a bestest best friend of hers.
Good for her.

My ex (the one going out with the douche) thinks these blogs are creepy.
I don't see how.
These are my thoughts.
Exactly how I think them.
She thought they were all about her.
Not everything's about about her.
She thought I'd wrote something bad about her because I wouldn't tell.
She thought I called her a bitch or something.
Why would I call her that?
She's not one.
I dont hate her.
Im not going to be a bastard of an ex to her.
But are my blogs creepy?
Are my thoughts creepy?
I just dont see how they are.

Oh well.
Im going to go now.
Might get some schnitzel.
Bye.

A good change?

Well Im starting to prepare.
Prepare for my possible future career.
As a cop.
I studied up some more.
Need to be able to do 34 pushups.
I tried and succeeded.
Need to be able to swim 50 meters in 54 seconds.
That might be a problem.
Im going to start exercising a bit more now.
Might go back to the gym.
I used to go a few years ago.
I went for 2 years.
It was good.

Im planning on getting a tattoo soon.
Possibly down my arm.
From my shoulder to my elbow.
Going to cost a lot.
Thought a skull with ice all over it could be in there somewhere.
And I want the face of a wolf.
And maybe under the wolf it could say "BORN 1989".
Or under the ice skull.

I'll have to wait till Ive paid off things first.
Got to finish paying my mother for my second car.
My second car that I crashed and nearly died in.
And got to finish paying Cairns Music Store.
Then I can have my Dunlop Cry Baby.
Cant wait for that.
I also have to fork up $200 for the computer place.
Who probably cant even remember I got a computer from them.

I dont know what to think anymore about her.
Should I like her?
My heart says yes.
My mind says yes.
But should I?
She's sick of the rumors at work about us.
I dont care about the rumors.
She suggested that we dont hang out much anymore.
That upset me but apparently she meant at work.
She suggested that a friend is ignoring her cause of me.
That upset lots too.
I asked if she wanted to hang out last night.
She said yes.
Then later that night I asked if she still wanted too.
No.
She wanted an early night.
Her flatmate did too.
Apparently in her flatmates blog from last night.
They both had a late night.
Till 11pm.
I was sleeping by 9.30pm.
Thats how bored I was.
Whats happening?

I got to go.
Got to get ready for work.
Better have breakfast too.
All in the span of half an hour.
Bye

God of Thunder. Catchy

Dont you just love when you hear a song and you instantly love it?
I've loved God of Thunder by KISS for ages.
Heard some covers of it tonight.
One by White Zombie AKA Rob Zombie
and another by Iced Earth.
Never heard of Iced Earth before.
Love Rob Zombies version.
Doesnt top the original though.
Love the war screams from those little kids in the KISS version.
I suggest people hear both versions.
Tell me what you think.

Its a favourite of mine by far.
The original more the the others.
I first heard it two years ago when I watched Slash play it.
In a "superband" led by Rob Zombie of all people.
I then watched KISS play it live on youtube.
Great little stage show at the start by Gene Simmons.
Coughs blood out.
Grows wings.
Flies to a higher balcony.
And plays it up there.
He is the vocalist in the song by the way.
And the bassist of the band.

I love KISS' older stuff.
I mean the stuff before the disco stuff.
Not that some of the disco stuff is bad.
Its kind of catchy.
But just not as good as the stuff that made KISS.

Oh well.
Im going to bed.
Early.
Before 12.
Before 11.
Haha even before 10.
Wont sleep though.
This song will be stuck in my head.

Goodnight.

The mysteries of Life

Sorry to say.
The Mysteries of Life will not be revealed.
Im only one man for goodness sake.
Maybe tomorrow.

Apparently New World is going to die without him.
You said it in your blog.
What a laugh.
I say good riddance to him.
Hopefully the other one will leave also.
Such cruel bastards they have become.
Such douchbags.
Im glad Im moving out.
Im glad Im moving in.
Cant Wait.

I start at nine this morning.
Im in charge all day.
Get to boss round this kid.
I dont boss him round though.
I tell him he's doing good.
He usually does do good.
I didn't like telling him off once.
It was hard.
I didnt want to make him cry.
He didnt cry though.
Still cant believe they made me in charge.

Spent another weekend with her.
Always fun.
We put food in the plates cupboard.
The put plates in the food cupboard.
What a constructive random thing.
I see her again today.
Lunch with her.
I have lunch with her everyday.
Its always interesting.
Are we going to buy a box of iceblocks for our lunch again?

Our band is coming along nicely.
We've practiced lots.
You made a song on guitar.
You don't play guitar though.
Shows how much its easier to play in Drop-D.
We play Hallelujah by Paramore.
Great song.
We got to get that bassist in.
Haven't heard from him in yonks.

I've got to get ready for work now.
My washing surprisingly dried inside.
Yay.
So since you seemed to want something to read.
I hope that got the job done.
Bye

What a craft knife fight

Well........

I got into a fight with my craft knife the other night.
Ten minutes before I was supposed to finish work.
I'd like to say I won the fight but I didn't.
It sliced my thumb.
Deeply.
Blood poured down my hand.
Gravy didn't fix it.
I didn't think it was that bad but it was after I cleaned the blood away.
Two sticky plasters didn't get the job done.
Six butterfly stitches did though.
Till the next day.
Bumped it hard.
Pain shot through my hand.
I held my hand between my legs in pain as a way to add pressure to rid me of pain.
It got better.
It felt better.
Till I pulled off my glove and saw blood run down my hand.
Now my thumb looks twice the usual size.
Its wrapped to the max.

Thats one fight I don't want to get into again.

Ooooooooo guess what.....
I have all 6 Star Wars movies
Didn't want that cartoon one.
Maybe later.
I tried a marathon.
Didn't work.
Gosh I love those cute wee ewoks.
So adorable.
They make me want a little baby bear.

Saw her today.
Thought things might have been awkward after last nights chat.
I didn't realize you don't like opening up and showing your feelings.
But things weren't awkward today.
I had fun like usual.
Time goes fast when Im with you.
Its worth it though.

I room can be so quiet sometimes.
Those two best leave me alone.
I've completely isolated myself from them.
Only speaking about tiny matters that involve one or two (maybe three) words.
My music helps get rid of that silence.
Perfect.

Wonder whats for tea.
I assume its going to be something with chicken fillets.
Thats what one of those two left out anyway.
Yum.
Chicken.
Yum.

Cant wait to move out.
Cant wait to move in.
Move in with two awesome chicks.
Ones an amazing cook.
Very awesome.
Very cool.
Very beautiful.
Very fun to hang out with.
The other chick is her.
The first thought on my mind in the morning.
The last thought on my mind at night.
Shes cool.
Shes beautiful.
Shes funny.
Shes awesome.
I cant wait to move out.
I cant wait to move in.

Its 9am and your already on my mind

Ive got this awesome friend.
Shes awesomely awesome.
We were once very close but I ruined it.
I admit I was stupid.
We both went through so much pain.
Tears were shed.
Minds were shattered.
Remotes were thrown at nuts.
Drinking to much became a habit of mine.
It was all torture.
I deserved it all though.
We're friends again.
Ive got my happiness back.
Im not drinking as much now.
No more random drunk moments.
Once again your back on my mind.
I know you don't want me to want more than friends.
Part of me is trying.
Part of me still likes you to much though.

Don't you just hate having so much rumors about you.
Right now me and my friend from above have plenty about us.
Nothings happening.
Sure I like her but nothings happening there.
Apparently we're going out.
Apparently I dumped my last girlfriend just to hook up with her.
We're not going out.
I didn't dump my last girlfriend.

I should probably be getting ready for work.
Another day in the cold chiller.
Or maybe it will be the freezer which funny enough is much colder.
Some people aren't working.
Some people are spending time in the sun.
I wish I was

One of many?

Ok so here goes the first of what may become many, may not.
My mind struggles to find something to write about and the horrible combination of straight JD followed by a sip of budget vanilla coke that should have been thrown out last week is not helping get the job done.

This is inspired by you
You know who you are
I hope you know who you are
Do you know who you are?
Do you really?

Your blogs have inspired me (also with the persuasive txts)
All the poetic lines, quotes, statements
Everything
Do you know who you are yet?
Do you really?

I saw her at work today
I was terrified at heart
I was shocked at mind
I was completely unsure what to do
I tried to avoid her
I want friendship again
Its tough though

Listening to Motley Crue
Every note passing through my ears and sticking in there
Oops, the computer changed over to a song by Slashs Snakepit
Much more bluesy
I love it
"Neither can I"

Where are you?
Are you there?
The days without you,
I cannot bare.
Not knowing where you are
Or how you are.
I feel like, we are so far.
I want you to know.
Im not ok.
As we are apart.
Day by day

Funny how Ive managed to write a bit now.
Random how my minds opening up to all you randoms.
Odd how some of its quite odd.
Wonder if I should tear my hands away from the keyboard.
I think I might.

Bye